Following from last week, I’m continuing my reflections about Fifty Shades of Grey, the controversial book that came out as a movie a fortnight ago. I mentioned how I believe it promotes abuse in a subtle but unacceptable way, and now I will give you some quotes from the book. There is no context to these quotes and one person tried to justify them by saying they were in a sub/dom role, but I will later explain why this is no reason to accept the quotes as mere entertainment.
For example, in one part of the book Christian Grey says “Alaska is very cold and no place to run. I would find you. I can track your cell phone – remember”. If those lines don’t disturb you, then what about: – “No, I protest, trying to kick him off. He stops. If you struggle I´ll tie your feet too. If you make a noise Anastasia, I will gag you”. One part of the book is about the control that the lead, Christian Grey wants to hold over the female, Anastasia, but some of the dialogue is terrifyingly similar to that experienced by regular abuse victims. Here’s another example: – “Christ Ana! He bangs his fist on the table, making me jump and stands so abruptly he almost knocks the dining chair over. You have one thing, one thing to remember. S–t! I don´t f—ing believe it. How could you be so stupid?” Remember the context of this conversation, because as far as I´m aware, this isn´t part of some role play, but this is someone talking to another human being as though they were a piece of rubbish. This is how thousands of women and men are spoken to daily by abusive partners. There is no justification for this language and treatment of another person.
Maybe one of the most depressing parts of this book is the ending. The fairy tale finale that our young heroine manages to get the man of her dreams to understand where he was going wrong and to fall in love, as she liberates him and there is a happy ever after. This may well give the impression to all those people suffering in the same way, that maybe their other half will one day realise what they´ve been doing all this time and love will finally conquer all. That of course is without paying the blindest bit of notice to the fact that this is fiction with the author making money from giving us what we want in the end. Perhaps they´ll lose sight of the fact that we don´t live in a fairy tale world where dreams come true and abusers become loving, caring people?
This book is wrong on so many levels, but the justification of abuse has to be the major mistake. I posted the article from which I took the quotes, on my Facebook page and one friend has tried to justify the comments as being part of a sub/dom game. This I can´t comment on having never read the book, but she also stated that Ana didn´t want to be a part of this lifestyle and as such, how can she be a willing participant? Maybe it´s my past that has made me question so much about this book and not to be able to just shrug it off as a bit of harmless literature, or maybe it´s because I´m not into BDSM, but then remember, everyone who has read the book has told me that neither is Anastasia. I don´t understand how anyone could possibly enjoy listening to one person talk with such contempt to another but again, that´s just what I think.
I´m in no way criticising the literary content, although it has been called very basic by someone who has read it, and I am sure that it has spiced up many a bedroom, however strange that may be to some people, me included. I would just like to remind you that in order to enjoy BDSM, both partners have to be willing participants, taking pleasure in what is happening and this lifestyle should never be forced on anyone. The majority of people have read the book with an open mind and as such see it as a piece of fiction, but it is important to remember this. If you´re with an abusive partner, or someone who makes you do things you don´t want to, there is a way out. There will be no fairy tale ending, and of course in real life there very rarely is.
So, if all you want is an interesting, fun love story I can recommend a hundred books before this one. The same can be said for romance or erotica, however, for some reason this book has touched people´s interest, maybe because of the simple grammar, to help it become a massive success. I still, and will always, find this astounding.